What Kung Fu Has Done For Me

January 28, 2023

 My journey with Kung Fu started long before I, myself stepped onto the mats. My husband and I made the decision to enrol our 2 year old son to join after researching activities for him to be a part of. As parents we very quickly could see the benefits it was providing him. We as parents of a student, also became a part of the school getting involved in different activities, and making Silent River Kung Fu a part of our lives. 

Shortly after I turned 40, I started a new career, which took me on a very different life path.

I went from working a very physical job, to working a very mentally intensive job. It was at this point I decided I needed something more in my life. I finally decided it was time to step on the mats as a student, not just as a parent sitting on the sidelines, or in the penalty box as we affectionately call it. I wanted some extra physical activity in my life now that I had a desk job. 

I’m sure my 2 adult children thought their mom was having some sort of midlife crisis. Starting a new career, and now joining a martial art at 40 years old. 

Kung Fu has been many things to me over the years, first a place that was teaching my son to be a better person, and then the place to bring so much to my life, that you wouldn’t think I would have missed, being the age I was. 

It was never an intention when I first stepped on the mats as a student to be standing before you today, being given the honour of receiving my black belt. It started as a way to bring more exercise into my life, a healthier lifestyle, and work towards a better me. 

It has taught me to not only lead by example, but to live by example. It has brought me a healthier lifestyle which has given me a healthy life. I’m not talking only about healthy eating habits, and caring about what you put into your body, but also empathy, compassion, community, respect, and integrity. Perseverance, persistence, and patience are a few things that come to mind in my journey. Living my best life, and being my best self. To live my life embracing Mastery, with empathy and compassion for everyone and everything around me. A consistent mantra of where I am, and what I am doing, but also of who I am and wanting to be. 

As I worked hard, and my belt colours changed, it still never really became apparent to me that I could actually one day be a black belt in Kung Fu. And then I received my second degree brown belt. All of a sudden, the next step was a black belt. This realisation hit me pretty hard. How did I get here? Did I deserve to be here? Can I do this? I had put many years of hard work, and dedication in, but it still felt like a revelation that snuck up on me. 

Very shortly after this, in a matter of a few weeks, the world was hit with a pandemic, and everything changed. The world as we knew it, was no longer. The way we trained needed to change, and even where we trained needed to change. I very quickly needed to make a choice on which path I was going to take. Our Kwoon became my living room, or my basement. Face to face was now on a computer screen, and learning new forms, and techniques became my sole responsibility to seek out, and figure out as best I could with an online presence. It was my choice alone to decide if I was going to embrace the change, and adapt when needed, or to fail. One thing Kung Fu had taught me through the years, was life was always going to change, and you needed to embrace it, or be left behind. And so my journey was once again shifting, and my path taking another turn. Mastery is not given, it is learned and earned, and it is always a work in progress. My choice was easy. 

During this time, my mother’s dementia also started to progress rapidly. Kung Fu helped to instil the confidence and strength in me to be the person my mom needs me to be as her primary caregiver. There have been tough choices to make, and many days of strength needed to make them. Kung Fu became my fortitude through all of these life changes. Kung Fu not only helps to ground me through all of the changes in life, but taught me to embrace it, and to grow and learn within it all. Constant changes of life, a disease with no cure, and a pandemic mixed in, has provided a truth like no other of what Kung Fu has done for me. 

There has been happiness and sadness, tragedy and triumph, but through it all we have stuck together. I’ve learned, and been challenged, and not only survived, but have become a better person because of it. The friendships made, and the family we have become at Silent River Kung Fu has been the strength that I drew from. It has brought clarity of the true meaning of teamwork, leadership, community, and hard work. Values such as integrity, and compassion are the true cornerstones of Silent River Kung Fu. Mastery may have different meanings to different people, but to me it has one simple meaning. To live your life better, to be better, to recognize mediocrity, and to eliminate it. It may not have been my intention in the beginning, but today, I am a proud Kung Fu martial artist, on a path to Mastery. 

Here I stand today being given this belt, this black belt. It is not about the colour of the belt, after all it is simply a piece of material. This belt represents my path on this journey. The hard times, the good times, the failures, and the successes. It is truly about hard work, as this is the meaning of the words Kung Fu. Life is rarely easy, it is what you put into it, that you get out of it. This black belt is not the finish line, but rather a new chapter in the continuation of my journey, and the path to mastery. It has really just begun. One of our Sihing’s sent a message of congratulations, and encouragement to the candidates, and in her words - welcome to the new white belt. This is a symbol of my journey, an honour not like any other, filled with tradition and respect. A journey that will continue until the end of my days. 

Great accomplishments are not meant to be easy, they are about hard work and dedication. About making the right choices. It’s not just about caring, but taking action. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey in getting there. It’s about celebrating the successes, and pushing through the losses, never giving up. Arriving at a crossroads in life, and choosing the right path. A path that will lead to enlightenment, and be the best path for me, and all of those around me. Today is a signpost in my journey, a large, bright and shiny one, but a signpost nonetheless. This journey has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also the easiest, and one of the most rewarding. But the work has truly just begun. 

I would say the rest is history, but that would be inaccurate, as everyday is a new beginning with history waiting to be made. 

This journey may have started for a purely physical reason, but as you’ve heard, it very quickly became so much more. That is not to discount the physical fitness this martial art provides. Silent River has been my home away from home, and the place to settle my mind. The place to go and sweat it out, leave the world at the door for a while, and be a better person when I step off the mats again. The sore muscles, the bruises, the tears, and yes, there has been some blood, but these are the markers that make the best stories, and are the true learning opportunities.

So as mid life crises go, I believe I could not have chosen a better, more fulfilling one. 

And to close, I have a few special thank you’s to all that have been a part of my journey. 

First to my family, thank you for always supporting me, cheering me on, and being the best part of my life. 

To my children, you inspire me every single day to be the best version of me.

To my husband, thank you for sharing this journey with me, and supporting my personal journey. Thank you for being the voice of reason more times than not, and pushing me when I needed it. 

To the special friends in my life for your unwavering support, and always being there for me.  

To all of my fellow teammates, you have provided encouragement, and have been like a family to me. I have learned from each and every one of you, and I thank you all. 

To my 5 applications partner Todai Lucy Lee. Thank you for sharing your valuable time with me, and helping me to succeed. Your insight, knowledge, and partnership have meant a great deal to me. I am grateful for the relationship we have built on this journey. 

I also want to thank my stand-in partner, Todai Jordan Carreau for being there when my partner could not, and letting me throw you around a bit, and being very gracious about it. 

To my fellow candidates, we have trained hard together, shared some laughter, and some tears. We have encouraged each other, and been there to build each other up. Congratulations on this great honour to all of you, and thank you for being such a big part of my journey. 

To all of my Sifu’s, Sihings, and Sidai’s that have been an integral part of my journey. Thank you for your commitment, leadership, integrity and your confidence in me. Thank you for helping to instil confidence in myself, being there to help me when I faltered, and providing the tough love when I needed it. Your knowledge and guidance has been the guiding force in my journey, and I wouldn’t be here without all of you. 

And a special thank you to Sifu Brinker. Thank you for your passion, knowledge, perseverance, and your patience. It has not always been easy, but you have always provided a home away from home. Not only you, but the school you have built that provides a safe place that encompasses family, and invites us to become a family together. Thank you for your vision, and your passion to bring Silent River Kung Fu to our community. My journey with Kung Fu started long before I, myself stepped onto the mats. My husband and I made the decision to enrol our 2 year old son to join after researching activities for him to be a part of. As parents we very quickly could see the benefits it was providing him. We as parents of a student, also became a part of the school getting involved in different activities, and making Silent River Kung Fu a part of our lives. 

Shortly after I turned 40, I started a new career, which took me on a very different life path.

I went from working a very physical job, to working a very mentally intensive job. It was at this point I decided I needed something more in my life. I finally decided it was time to step on the mats as a student, not just as a parent sitting on the sidelines, or in the penalty box as we affectionately call it. I wanted some extra physical activity in my life now that I had a desk job. 

I’m sure my 2 adult children thought their mom was having some sort of midlife crisis. Starting a new career, and now joining a martial art at 40 years old. 

Kung Fu has been many things to me over the years, first a place that was teaching my son to be a better person, and then the place to bring so much to my life, that you wouldn’t think I would have missed, being the age I was. 

It was never an intention when I first stepped on the mats as a student to be standing before you today, being given the honour of receiving my black belt. It started as a way to bring more exercise into my life, a healthier lifestyle, and work towards a better me. 

It has taught me to not only lead by example, but to live by example. It has brought me a healthier lifestyle which has given me a healthy life. I’m not talking only about healthy eating habits, and caring about what you put into your body, but also empathy, compassion, community, respect, and integrity. Perseverance, persistence, and patience are a few things that come to mind in my journey. Living my best life, and being my best self. To live my life embracing Mastery, with empathy and compassion for everyone and everything around me. A consistent mantra of where I am, and what I am doing, but also of who I am and wanting to be. 

As I worked hard, and my belt colours changed, it still never really became apparent to me that I could actually one day be a black belt in Kung Fu. And then I received my second degree brown belt. All of a sudden, the next step was a black belt. This realisation hit me pretty hard. How did I get here? Did I deserve to be here? Can I do this? I had put many years of hard work, and dedication in, but it still felt like a revelation that snuck up on me. 

Very shortly after this, in a matter of a few weeks, the world was hit with a pandemic, and everything changed. The world as we knew it, was no longer. The way we trained needed to change, and even where we trained needed to change. I very quickly needed to make a choice on which path I was going to take. Our Kwoon became my living room, or my basement. Face to face was now on a computer screen, and learning new forms, and techniques became my sole responsibility to seek out, and figure out as best I could with an online presence. It was my choice alone to decide if I was going to embrace the change, and adapt when needed, or to fail. One thing Kung Fu had taught me through the years, was life was always going to change, and you needed to embrace it, or be left behind. And so my journey was once again shifting, and my path taking another turn. Mastery is not given, it is learned and earned, and it is always a work in progress. My choice was easy. 

During this time, my mother’s dementia also started to progress rapidly. Kung Fu helped to instil the confidence and strength in me to be the person my mom needs me to be as her primary caregiver. There have been tough choices to make, and many days of strength needed to make them. Kung Fu became my fortitude through all of these life changes. Kung Fu not only helps to ground me through all of the changes in life, but taught me to embrace it, and to grow and learn within it all. Constant changes of life, a disease with no cure, and a pandemic mixed in, has provided a truth like no other of what Kung Fu has done for me. 

There has been happiness and sadness, tragedy and triumph, but through it all we have stuck together. I’ve learned, and been challenged, and not only survived, but have become a better person because of it. The friendships made, and the family we have become at Silent River Kung Fu has been the strength that I drew from. It has brought clarity of the true meaning of teamwork, leadership, community, and hard work. Values such as integrity, and compassion are the true cornerstones of Silent River Kung Fu. Mastery may have different meanings to different people, but to me it has one simple meaning. To live your life better, to be better, to recognize mediocrity, and to eliminate it. It may not have been my intention in the beginning, but today, I am a proud Kung Fu martial artist, on a path to Mastery. 

Here I stand today being given this belt, this black belt. It is not about the colour of the belt, after all it is simply a piece of material. This belt represents my path on this journey. The hard times, the good times, the failures, and the successes. It is truly about hard work, as this is the meaning of the words Kung Fu. Life is rarely easy, it is what you put into it, that you get out of it. This black belt is not the finish line, but rather a new chapter in the continuation of my journey, and the path to mastery. It has really just begun. One of our Sihing’s sent a message of congratulations, and encouragement to the candidates, and in her words - welcome to the new white belt. This is a symbol of my journey, an honour not like any other, filled with tradition and respect. A journey that will continue until the end of my days. 

Great accomplishments are not meant to be easy, they are about hard work and dedication. About making the right choices. It’s not just about caring, but taking action. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey in getting there. It’s about celebrating the successes, and pushing through the losses, never giving up. Arriving at a crossroads in life, and choosing the right path. A path that will lead to enlightenment, and be the best path for me, and all of those around me. Today is a signpost in my journey, a large, bright and shiny one, but a signpost nonetheless. This journey has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also the easiest, and one of the most rewarding. But the work has truly just begun. 

I would say the rest is history, but that would be inaccurate, as everyday is a new beginning with history waiting to be made. 

This journey may have started for a purely physical reason, but as you’ve heard, it very quickly became so much more. That is not to discount the physical fitness this martial art provides. Silent River has been my home away from home, and the place to settle my mind. The place to go and sweat it out, leave the world at the door for a while, and be a better person when I step off the mats again. The sore muscles, the bruises, the tears, and yes, there has been some blood, but these are the markers that make the best stories, and are the true learning opportunities.

So as mid life crises go, I believe I could not have chosen a better, more fulfilling one. 

And to close, I have a few special thank you’s to all that have been a part of my journey. 

First to my family, thank you for always supporting me, cheering me on, and being the best part of my life. 

To my children, you inspire me every single day to be the best version of me.

To my husband, thank you for sharing this journey with me, and supporting my personal journey. Thank you for being the voice of reason more times than not, and pushing me when I needed it. 

To the special friends in my life for your unwavering support, and always being there for me.  

To all of my fellow teammates, you have provided encouragement, and have been like a family to me. I have learned from each and every one of you, and I thank you all. 

To my 5 applications partner Todai Lucy Lee. Thank you for sharing your valuable time with me, and helping me to succeed. Your insight, knowledge, and partnership have meant a great deal to me. I am grateful for the relationship we have built on this journey. 

I also want to thank my stand-in partner, Todai Jordan Carreau for being there when my partner could not, and letting me throw you around a bit, and being very gracious about it. 

To my fellow candidates, we have trained hard together, shared some laughter, and some tears. We have encouraged each other, and been there to build each other up. Congratulations on this great honour to all of you, and thank you for being such a big part of my journey. 

To all of my Sifu’s, Sihings, and Sidai’s that have been an integral part of my journey. Thank you for your commitment, leadership, integrity and your confidence in me. Thank you for helping to instil confidence in myself, being there to help me when I faltered, and providing the tough love when I needed it. Your knowledge and guidance has been the guiding force in my journey, and I wouldn’t be here without all of you. 

And a special thank you to Sifu Brinker. Thank you for your passion, knowledge, perseverance, and your patience. It has not always been easy, but you have always provided a home away from home. Not only you, but the school you have built that provides a safe place that encompasses family, and invites us to become a family together. Thank you for your vision, and your passion to bring Silent River Kung Fu to our community.