Strengths or just Weakness

 We were asked in our black belt class to rewrite our strengths and weaknesses last week. I started my list, side by side, and only one side was making any traction. My weaknesses. I struggled with this for several days, and am forcing myself to dig deeper. 

Right now I am struggling with an injury and everything feels weak. Many years of training seems far off. Looking deeper I have found there is strengths in injury. I have my knowledge, and I am depending on my insight. I have much more to learn of course, and this is the perfect time to be honing in on that. My list is starting to even out, and I am doing my best to keep it positive on both sides. 

I was able to partake in a lot of the class tonight, slow and careful, but on my feet, not just from a chair. It felt good, and I’m learning to progress wisely. 

Limits

 I think sometimes we put arbitrary limits on ourselves. It may be out of fear, time constraints, or due to injury, among others. How do we know what are limits are, if we don’t consistently push ourselves?

I am currently dealing with injury. I have had injuries in the past, of course, but this one definitely deserves more attention and caution. I’ve dealt with the usual strains, and sprains, and even went to class with a boot on my foot when I fractured my foot and ankle. Smart? Probably not , but I was testing my limits. We are the only ones that know our bodies enough to know what our limits are, and if we proceed with caution, and safely, we can progress and push past what we thought our limit was. 

This past week has been about testing my limits again. Slowly and safely, consistently several times every day. I’ve made some progress, and my swelling has come down some. The days when there is a lot on the go, I know I’ve done too much by the end of the day. I continue to train with what I can do, and proceed slowly in getting back to what I am used to doing. I am also incorporating dietary self defense and eating foods that help with inflammation, which has also helped in my progress. And I’m listening to my physiotherapist by staying off the mats, as hard as that is to do. I’m doing my best to ward off the frustration, and anxiety of falling behind. I train, everyday, just a little differently than I am used to.

In my physio appointment today, the swelling has come down, but still has a ways to go. I have more movement, and she advised she thinks it may be an ACL tear, and possibly meniscus. The good news (I think) is she doesn’t think it is cartilage, as my knee doesn’t lock, but will hopefully be able to tell more with less swelling next week. To my dismay, she also said recovery is 6-8 weeks. I countered with I would like to back on the mats right after spring break. She countered with - next week I can show her some of my moves and she will tell me what I can and cannot do lol. The goal is to get back to what I do normally, and train like I was doing before. But that can only happen if I let myself heal properly. This has been tough, but I am also not getting any younger, and do not heal like I used to. I know this, but it doesn’t make it easier. The good news she said is it doesn’t affect my sit ups and push ups (modified a bit as to not strain my knee). She has obviously had this conversation before lol. 

In a nutshell this is my journey at the moment. I will continue to train, and continue to push myself and test my limits. And I will be back on the mats as soon as I am safely able to do so - AKA  April 3rd. Until then, I will see you online, training from my chair. Keep your limits in front of you, but don’t be afraid to test them either. 

Slow, but steady

 It has definitely been a different week. I’m really not one to sit still for long, and also not one to listen to my body very well. That changed this week, as my body didn’t give me any other option. Apparently I’m not 20 any longer lol. 

Although I wasn’t able to do the physical activity I have been accustomed too, I am still training. This week has been about a lot of stretching, and upper body training that I can sit in a chair and do. A lot of form run through’s in my head, and watching videos. I was doing stairs again by Wednesday, and now walking with only a slight limp. 

I had my first physiotherapy appointment today as well. Some good news, and some not so good. I still have a lot of swelling, so it can’t be pinpointed as to what the issue is, until the swelling comes down. The range of motion still isn’t great due to the swelling, and tight calf muscles. For the most part I have been doing the correct exercises and stretching to help this though, which is good. I now have a few more to hopefully elevate it further. Some electro shock therapy (maybe not what it’s called lol), and some acupuncture on my ankle, for that swelling and release as well. Another appointment next week, and one the week after, and then hopefully the swelling will be down enough to figure this out. 

The bad news, benched for another two weeks! I even confirmed when she said two weeks - so another week and I’m good to go? No, two more weeks!! And told to behave several times lol. She even chuckled a couple of times through treatment and how I reacted - you Kung Fu people 😂 Meant in a good way of course. Not used to, or like being down. 

So, it’s time (without much choice at this point) to listen to what my body is telling me. I have a lot of Kung Fu years left in me, so I better learn to listen. So I am training with what I can do, and mentally training with what I cannot physically do at the moment. 

Hope to see you on the mats soon!