Episode 3

 As I had said previously, I had taken some holiday time off of work last week, with one major goal. To read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I achieved my goal, and quite enjoyed the 'ride' along the way. This has prompted me to write a little Chautauqua of my own. Not so much for entertainment value, but to tell a bit of my story over the last week. 

I will go back a bit and start with Episode 1. This was in the fall of 2014. It started with a bad flu. After several days, finally an agreement to go to the hospital. Once at the hospital, a quick check over, and a discharge. The next day another trip to the ER, with the same result. Finally on day 3, an admittance to the ER for further tests. It was found that many levels were dangerously low, the most dangerous being the potassium level - registering at 2.1. Normal is 2.6 to 5.2, with under 2.5 being life threatening. Some medication immediately given, and hopefully a start to feeling better. Then the next day brought a stroke. A minor bleed, but a stroke nonetheless. This, combined with trying to get everything else regulated got an admittance to acute care for several weeks. Finally after 6 weeks, time to get discharged and back home. Shortly after this, maybe a month or two, signs started to show of the disease. After doctor appointments it was confirmed in early stages, and advice given to find an apartment to move into for self sufficient living. This would make is easier for placement when the time came. So that is exactly what happened next. 

Episode 2 - a year and a half later. Delirium, refusal of medication, no sleep, not eating or drinking, and hallucinations. This was an immediate trip to the ER, and also the last time at the apartment. Once again levels were found to be very low, but the real answer to this was an infection. Apparently with this disease, an infection exacerbates because of this disease in a big way. I might add that this came on within a day and a half. After 2 and half months in acute care, medications finally lessening symptoms, the decision was handed down that placement had to made to a care facility. 5 months later, a placement was found. Not one of the ones chosen, but the first to come up, and after 7 and half months in acute care there was no choice but to take it. 

Episode 3, which is currently in the midst. Again, refusal of medication, delirium and hallucinations. Added now terrified screaming when anyone comes near. An ambulance to the hospital. Not a great time at any given time, but especially in the middle of a pandemic. Communication breakdown, and told that only a chest x-ray needed for a cough. Nothing there, ambulance back to the care facility. Next morning the same is happening, only worse. Back in the ambulance to the hospital. Again, communication foregone. Why? Nothing wrong. A call from one doctor to another, and finally something starts to happen, and some tests are given. Another infection. As was what was first thought at the care facility. After 3 days of back and forth, admittance to acute care, and a doctor that communicates. 

The disease I speak of is dementia. The person I write this story about, is my mom. To say this last week has been frustrating and exhausting is a bit of an understatement. I understand that people are worn down, it has been a heck of a long year. But where is the compassion, the empathy? I did not see or feel any of that this week, and it made it harder. This is a person that not only does not mentally understand what is happening, nor can communicate what is wrong, but is also not legally able to make decisions. And yet I, as the daughter am being asked what do you want us to do? My reply several times was that I was not a doctor, and did not have the answer. After 7 days, 2 negative Covid tests, visitor approval process completed, I was allowed to see my mom. So I spent some time last night, with a little bit of chatter in between the delirium and hallucinations. It is not easy, but it is accepted. The visit did us both good I believe. But then an hour after I arrived home from the hospital I received a phone call that they believed she now has shingles, and has been moved to isolation. And of course visitation revoked. I just have to deal with calling in a couple of times a day for a check in on progress, and see how she is doing. 

I write this story as a bit of a timeline for myself. Of course there were many situations, and episodes in between these 3, but these are the major ones. These are the ones that I believe have changed the path. This disease is incurable, with  no medications to prevent, or really even to hold off. It seems as every major episode occurs, the disease takes more of a hold on a once vibrant, outgoing, happy person. 

When I started writing this blog earlier in the week, I didn't really see the connection to kung fu. And then something was brought up at our I Ho Chuan meeting, and an aha moment appeared. I do believe this tells a story of my kung fu as well. If not for my training, my instructors, my team, and my school, I do not believe I would have handled this in the way I did. I was not happy, but never disrespectful, and with understanding, the week and events unfolded. My reaction, and the way I handled everything this week was much different to the way I believe I would have 8 years ago. 

Now to see what now unfolds in the life of dementia. Thanks for reading, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Give them a hug everyday.