I have been struggling as of late. Well to be honest with myself, for the last couple of months. I am mentally exhausted. Mainly caused by work. To give you a bit of an idea, I am the only mortgage lender in my branch at the moment, and have been for the last year almost. My branch is currently at 294% (no decimal there!) with the mortgage target for the year. I am also training someone, and I believe she may account for about 5% of that number. It will be great to have a partner to help with this, but training also takes time.
So essentially by the time my workday (10-11 hour day) is done, the tank is running on fumes at best. This also doesn’t include the ‘off’ hours spent working. I am struggling with this for the main reason that my kung fu is suffering. I don’t feel like I am training as I should, or most certainly want to be. It is adding extra anxiety for the black belt grading. Where am I? What am I doing? are questions that have dissappointing answers for me when it comes to my kung fu at the moment. To keep from going completely under, I have set small check ins periodically to keep me on track with my numbers, but the extra training is almost non existent. And this stresses me out!
My mind feels like a carousel at warp speed for most of the day, and then a hard stop to fling me off, and leave me lying on the ground trying desperately to catch my breath. Okay, maybe a bit dramatic, but the best way I can describe it at the moment.
The first step in correcting this was doing a one on one. The second is blogging about it, and acknowledging where I am at. And the third is to do something about it. Now, my job pays the bills, so it won’t go away; but I believe there is a way to eliminate some of this stress. It will be a process, it won’t change overnight, but I have to start somewhere right?
Part 2, and possibly more to follow so this blog isn’t 12 pages long!
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