Last week was a tough one, with a tough decision being made.
We all know it has been a year (or half year so far) of change, challenge, and adversity.
I needed to make the tough decision of not testing for my Black belt this year.
I had wavered for the last couple of weeks, but made, I feel, the best decision for me.
When this I Ho Chuan year started, I had a lot of fire in me, a lot of goals, and hopes for what my Kung Fu, and I Ho Chuan year was going to bring. The first 6 weeks was Fantastic.
To test this year would have been unfair to the grading board, my instructors, the other candidates, and mostly to myself. I feel I would have been setting myself up for failure, and further disappointment, that I don't know I would have gotten past.
I needed to pivot, as everyone else did, and instead of my main focus being on me this year, and my top priority in my training, I needed to be there for other people.
This isn't a bad thing, I know, but it still brings some disappointment, and sadness.
This does not mean that I quit. There is no quit.
This does not mean I am disappointed to the point of guilt. There is no guilt.
This means my path has taken a turn for now, but my journey is still the same. Maybe better, as I have learned a lot this year. I look forward to next year, and giving my All In.
This week is a week I always look forward to. Kwoon clean up.
I really enjoy this week because it really brings a sense of Pride, and a feeling of Connection.
The Kwoon is my Kung Fu home, and I always enjoy all the work we do, to better our home, and make it our own. It is great to get to know everybody, and share some of ourselves.
Thanks for listening, and being such great team mates, and such a big part of my life.
Monday, 31 August 2020
Sunday, 23 August 2020
Wuxin
The other day I had a Wuxin moment. It wasn't until much later, after it happened, that I realized it.
We volunteered, as part of Silent River Kung Fu, at the drive in movie in Stony Plain the other night. My job was to park cars in the appropriate spot, and row, according to the vehicle size.
As you already know, the weather decided that it was going to give us a good soaking, and light show, while we were doing this. Almost at the exact time we started lol.
Despite the weather, it was a Great time!
For the brave vehicles that decided to roll down their windows for direction (there actually were quite a few surprisingly), all were thankful, and polite. A few of the vehicles that came in were people that I knew (they even recognized me with my mask haha).
One of the people said to me - What are you doing here? You don't even live in Stony Plain! Obviously they know me well enough to know where I live.
With a smile, and no preemptive thought I replied - This is the community of my Kung Fu home, so it is my community as well. And carried on my way to the next vehicle.
Once I was home, ears wrung out, cuddled in warm blankets, I actually reflected, and thought about what I had replied.
This is how I feel. Silent River Kung Fu is home to me. It is not about the walls, floors, and roof; but rather the heart, people, and the experience. I sat and thought about what this 'place' means to my family. I mean, my son has spent more than 11 of his 14 years of age at Silent River Kung Fu. If that is not something to call home, I don't know what is.
If not for Silent River, I would not have been given the opportunity to volunteer in this great community, and be able to allow people to enjoy a great event.
Now, I know the organizers, the people that attended, and community are grateful and thankful that we were there, as it may very well not have been able to happen if we weren't, but that is not what it is about. I feel thankful that I was given the opportunity to help. We need to take all the opportunities that are presented to us that we can, as they may not come along again.
I've made a lot of references to the weather that night - but it really was a Fantastic time! I got to meet new people, and provide some happiness to people, in uncertain times. I wouldn't have changed it (except maybe the lightening!)
If you were unable to make it, or have not taken part in an opportunity like this before, may I suggest that the next time Silent River offers such an opportunity, that you try. It really is an Amazing experience to see the happiness that your little part provides.
We volunteered, as part of Silent River Kung Fu, at the drive in movie in Stony Plain the other night. My job was to park cars in the appropriate spot, and row, according to the vehicle size.
As you already know, the weather decided that it was going to give us a good soaking, and light show, while we were doing this. Almost at the exact time we started lol.
Despite the weather, it was a Great time!
For the brave vehicles that decided to roll down their windows for direction (there actually were quite a few surprisingly), all were thankful, and polite. A few of the vehicles that came in were people that I knew (they even recognized me with my mask haha).
One of the people said to me - What are you doing here? You don't even live in Stony Plain! Obviously they know me well enough to know where I live.
With a smile, and no preemptive thought I replied - This is the community of my Kung Fu home, so it is my community as well. And carried on my way to the next vehicle.
Once I was home, ears wrung out, cuddled in warm blankets, I actually reflected, and thought about what I had replied.
This is how I feel. Silent River Kung Fu is home to me. It is not about the walls, floors, and roof; but rather the heart, people, and the experience. I sat and thought about what this 'place' means to my family. I mean, my son has spent more than 11 of his 14 years of age at Silent River Kung Fu. If that is not something to call home, I don't know what is.
If not for Silent River, I would not have been given the opportunity to volunteer in this great community, and be able to allow people to enjoy a great event.
Now, I know the organizers, the people that attended, and community are grateful and thankful that we were there, as it may very well not have been able to happen if we weren't, but that is not what it is about. I feel thankful that I was given the opportunity to help. We need to take all the opportunities that are presented to us that we can, as they may not come along again.
I've made a lot of references to the weather that night - but it really was a Fantastic time! I got to meet new people, and provide some happiness to people, in uncertain times. I wouldn't have changed it (except maybe the lightening!)
If you were unable to make it, or have not taken part in an opportunity like this before, may I suggest that the next time Silent River offers such an opportunity, that you try. It really is an Amazing experience to see the happiness that your little part provides.
Sunday, 9 August 2020
My Dissapointment
It was great to have a live, in person I Ho Chuan meeting this week! It was great to see the excitement it brought, and thanks to those who shared how they are feeling, and doing.
When I do share in these meetings, and I always try to, I sometimes feel as if what I am trying to say is not coming across the way I mean for it to. Out of my comfort zone, and somewhat of stage freight.
I talked about my disappointment this year. This was not meant to be negative, but to share that I had grand goals this year, and some have had to be shelved....for now.
I've said this before, but I will go back a bit. Back almost 13 years to be exact.
My journey with Silent River Kung Fu started long before I stepped on the mats myself. It started as a parent on the sidelines almost 13 years ago (still amazes me at how time flies!)
Almost six years ago, I finally stepped on the mats, and became a student myself.
I watched everything my son was being taught, and I am not talking about the kicks and punches, but rather the life lessons, and road to Mastery, and decided it was time to incorporate all of this in my personal world, not just my parent world.
When I was a new student, the farthest thing from my mind was earning a Black Belt. That was illustrious, and not somewhere I would ever be....
I joined as a student to get some exercise, and immerse myself in the lifestyle of Kung Fu. So many wonderful lessons are taught, outside of the physical wellness. As I moved through the stripes, and belt colors, it became more and more apparent, that this lifestyle was so much more. Mastery is a life line. A Black Belt is the beginning of that life line. My journey will take me there one day.
Last year we joined the I Ho Chuan group, and the Black Belt became a real goal, a reality, something I never thought I would be looking at over the horizon. Last year was the beginning steps for me to actually earn this Black Belt. This year, it was a goal to test for my Black Belt in the fall.
Every year brings challenges, change, and adjustments. I was very unprepared for the amount of challenges that this year would bring. We talk and learn a lot about priorities, and Kung Fu has been a high priority for me for almost 13 years, first for my son, now for my family. This year Kung Fu moved up to my first priority, behind my family. Unfortunately, Kung Fu had to go down the list of priorities a little bit 6 weeks in. The first 6 weeks was great, and on track - class 3 days a week, Saturday open gym, and practice in between. My priorities needed to shift, and my job needed to move to the forefront. I needed to do this, as many, many more people needed my full attention, my understanding, and most of my time. I am grateful that I am able to help, but also disappointed that I have had to put some of my goals aside for the time being.
That being said, does it mean that my training and Kung Fu are not a priority - Absolutely Not. It is quite the opposite actually. Kung Fu has helped me in many ways get through this pandemic, day by day. Kung Fu has taught me more about Empathy, it has helped my mental well being, and has enabled me to keep my physical abilities somewhat in tact. Being engaged with my journal, and engaging in other's journals, has exponentially made a positive difference for me this year. I may not be physically where I wanted to be, but I am definitely grateful for the opportunities that have presented themselves, that may not otherwise have been there.
So yes, there is disappointment that I will not be testing for a Black Belt this year, but if I look back from where I started, I feel as I have climbed a mountain. And now the rest of the Rockies await....
Thanks for reading, see you on the mats!
When I do share in these meetings, and I always try to, I sometimes feel as if what I am trying to say is not coming across the way I mean for it to. Out of my comfort zone, and somewhat of stage freight.
I talked about my disappointment this year. This was not meant to be negative, but to share that I had grand goals this year, and some have had to be shelved....for now.
I've said this before, but I will go back a bit. Back almost 13 years to be exact.
My journey with Silent River Kung Fu started long before I stepped on the mats myself. It started as a parent on the sidelines almost 13 years ago (still amazes me at how time flies!)
Almost six years ago, I finally stepped on the mats, and became a student myself.
I watched everything my son was being taught, and I am not talking about the kicks and punches, but rather the life lessons, and road to Mastery, and decided it was time to incorporate all of this in my personal world, not just my parent world.
When I was a new student, the farthest thing from my mind was earning a Black Belt. That was illustrious, and not somewhere I would ever be....
I joined as a student to get some exercise, and immerse myself in the lifestyle of Kung Fu. So many wonderful lessons are taught, outside of the physical wellness. As I moved through the stripes, and belt colors, it became more and more apparent, that this lifestyle was so much more. Mastery is a life line. A Black Belt is the beginning of that life line. My journey will take me there one day.
Last year we joined the I Ho Chuan group, and the Black Belt became a real goal, a reality, something I never thought I would be looking at over the horizon. Last year was the beginning steps for me to actually earn this Black Belt. This year, it was a goal to test for my Black Belt in the fall.
Every year brings challenges, change, and adjustments. I was very unprepared for the amount of challenges that this year would bring. We talk and learn a lot about priorities, and Kung Fu has been a high priority for me for almost 13 years, first for my son, now for my family. This year Kung Fu moved up to my first priority, behind my family. Unfortunately, Kung Fu had to go down the list of priorities a little bit 6 weeks in. The first 6 weeks was great, and on track - class 3 days a week, Saturday open gym, and practice in between. My priorities needed to shift, and my job needed to move to the forefront. I needed to do this, as many, many more people needed my full attention, my understanding, and most of my time. I am grateful that I am able to help, but also disappointed that I have had to put some of my goals aside for the time being.
That being said, does it mean that my training and Kung Fu are not a priority - Absolutely Not. It is quite the opposite actually. Kung Fu has helped me in many ways get through this pandemic, day by day. Kung Fu has taught me more about Empathy, it has helped my mental well being, and has enabled me to keep my physical abilities somewhat in tact. Being engaged with my journal, and engaging in other's journals, has exponentially made a positive difference for me this year. I may not be physically where I wanted to be, but I am definitely grateful for the opportunities that have presented themselves, that may not otherwise have been there.
So yes, there is disappointment that I will not be testing for a Black Belt this year, but if I look back from where I started, I feel as I have climbed a mountain. And now the rest of the Rockies await....
Thanks for reading, see you on the mats!
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