Tough Decisions

Last week was a tough one, with a tough decision being made.

We all know it has been a year (or half year so far) of change, challenge, and adversity.
I needed to make the tough decision of not testing for my Black belt this year.

I had wavered for the last couple of weeks, but made, I feel, the best decision for me.
When this I Ho Chuan year started, I had a lot of fire in me, a lot of goals, and hopes for what my Kung Fu, and I Ho Chuan year was going to bring. The first 6 weeks was Fantastic.

To test this year would have been unfair to the grading board, my instructors, the other candidates, and mostly to myself. I feel I would have been setting myself up for failure, and further disappointment, that I don't know I would have gotten past.

I needed to pivot, as everyone else did, and instead of my main focus being on me this year, and my top priority in my training, I needed to be there for other people.
This isn't a bad thing, I know, but it still brings some disappointment, and sadness.

This does not mean that I quit. There is no quit.
This does not mean I am disappointed to the point of guilt. There is no guilt.
This means my path has taken a turn for now, but my journey is still the same. Maybe better, as I have learned a lot this year. I look forward to next year, and giving my All In.

This week is a week I always look forward to. Kwoon clean up.
I really enjoy this week because it really brings a sense of Pride, and a feeling of Connection.
The Kwoon is my Kung Fu home, and I always enjoy all the work we do, to better our home, and make it our own. It is great to get to know everybody, and share some of ourselves.

Thanks for listening, and being such great team mates, and such a big part of my life.