My Dissapointment

It was great to have a live, in person I Ho Chuan meeting this week! It was great to see the excitement it brought, and thanks to those who shared how they are feeling, and doing.

When I do share in these meetings, and I always try to, I sometimes feel as if what I am trying to say is not coming across the way I mean for it to. Out of my comfort zone, and somewhat of stage freight. 

I talked about my disappointment this year. This was not meant to be negative, but to share that I had grand goals this year, and some have had to be shelved....for now.

I've said this before, but I will go back a bit. Back almost 13 years to be exact.

My journey with Silent River Kung Fu started long before I stepped on the mats myself. It started as a parent on the sidelines almost 13 years ago (still amazes me at how time flies!)

Almost six years ago, I finally stepped on the mats, and became a student myself.

I watched everything my son was being taught, and I am not talking about the kicks and punches, but rather the life lessons, and road to Mastery, and decided it was time to incorporate all of this in my personal world, not just my parent world.

When I was a new student, the farthest thing from my mind was earning a Black Belt. That was illustrious, and not somewhere I would ever be....

I joined as a student to get some exercise, and immerse myself in the lifestyle of Kung Fu. So many wonderful lessons are taught, outside of the physical wellness. As I moved through the stripes, and belt colors, it became more and more apparent, that this lifestyle was so much more. Mastery is a life line. A Black Belt is the beginning of that life line. My journey will take me there one day.

Last year we joined the I Ho Chuan group, and the Black Belt became a real goal, a reality, something I never thought I would be looking at over the horizon. Last year was the beginning steps for me to actually earn this Black Belt. This year, it was a goal to test for my Black Belt in the fall.

Every year brings challenges, change, and adjustments. I was very unprepared for the amount of challenges that this year would bring. We talk and learn a lot about priorities, and Kung Fu  has been a high priority for me for almost 13 years, first for my son, now for my family. This year Kung Fu moved up to my first priority, behind my family. Unfortunately, Kung Fu had to go down the list of priorities a little bit 6 weeks in. The first 6 weeks was great, and on track - class 3 days a week, Saturday open gym, and practice in between. My priorities needed to shift, and my job needed to move to the forefront. I needed to do this, as many, many more people needed my full attention, my understanding, and most of my time. I am grateful that I am able to help, but also disappointed that I have had to put some of my goals aside for the time being.

That being said, does it mean that my training and Kung Fu are not a priority - Absolutely Not. It is quite the opposite actually. Kung Fu has helped me in many ways get through this pandemic, day by day. Kung Fu has taught me more about Empathy, it has helped my mental well being, and has enabled me to keep my physical abilities somewhat in tact. Being engaged with my journal, and engaging in other's journals, has exponentially made a positive difference for me this year. I may not be physically where I wanted to be, but I am definitely grateful for the opportunities that have presented themselves, that may not otherwise have been there.

So yes, there is disappointment that I will not be testing for a Black Belt this year, but if I look back from where I started, I feel as I have climbed a mountain. And now the rest of the Rockies await....

Thanks for reading, see you on the mats!