What am I doing?

 Currently in bed, sleep eluding me. 

Many thoughts and questions running through my mind. Am I ready? Am I ready for where this journey leads? Who am I doing this for? Why do I want this? Am I misunderstood? Why can the words not come out as they sound in my head, or are indended? Am I a better person than I was yesterday? This morning?

A few of the ones currently swirling around. I always try to reflect, and with reflecting comes question. I hope for answers to the questions. They don’t always come quickly. I’d be lying if I said the questions don’t bring doubt. Dig deeper. Find a way. Be better than yesterday, and even this morning. Only I can lead this path. 

Where Am I?

 Seems a straightforward question. But more often than not, checks and balances need to happen. I like to use the analogy - leave it at the door. Whether I am going into work, or visits with my mom, and especially in my training. No matter what is going on in life, I need to check it at the door, and focus on the task in front of me. 

Focus and intent. I try to clear my mind of all else going on. When I walk through the Kwoon doors, through the lobby at work, or even in my basement, or back yard to practice, the intent must be true. If it isn’t, I am only cheating myself. 

See you on the mats! 

Responsibility

 We all have responsibilities. We all have different responsibilities. Some may have children, spouses, family, jobs; and we have Kung Fu.

We take our responsibilities seriously, right? Yes, some take more of our time and energy than others, but one responsibility should not suffer because of the other. We need to be adaptable, flexible, and willing to sacrifice at times. This includes our training as well. We all chose to be here. We all walk through the doors of SRKF and want to learn. But it is our responsibility on how far that will take us. We have amazing people around us, that contribute time, knowledge, and energy, selflessly given for the taking. 

Our instructors are there to help, guide, and even motivate, but they cannot make us progress forward. That is our responsibility. To me, 50,000 is one of the most important lessons I have learned. If I practice mindfully, and keep this responsibility in my mind at all times, my progress will come. My responsibility. 

See you all on the mats! (I feel like I’ve waited so long to say that!!)