The Opposite is Exactly the same

 Whaaaat??? I was perplexed at this statement at first. And then….

The question was posed in class - I focus more on the hand coming back then the hand going forward, is that wrong? Or very close to that. The answer at first was - you are doing the same in the opposite direction. Makes sense, right? Further example was a coin. When you flip one side, you are also flipping the other. AHA! 

This brought on a lot of reflection, and ultimately a lot of direct attention to what I was feeling.

Harmony, more specific - 6 harmonies. When I focused on what I was doing and feeling, I was also concentrating more on the pull back more so than the push forward. But. When I pulled my hand back, my other hand naturally pushed forward. This is something I became aware of feeling around the orange belt level, and it was an aha moment then. Sometimes I think my forms and movements naturally happen because I have trained that way. It was really great to analyze that, and really focus on what I was feeling elsewhere, and not specifically on the technique itself. Feeling the ground through my feet, to my hips, which went into the shoulder, to ultimately provide the technique. I will be exploring this more in all my forms, and techniques, which in turn will slow everything down quite a bit. But I think I need this, and my hope is it will in turn provide growth and ultimately the goal of no mind. Wuxin. A work always in process. 

Thank you for the question Mrs Kohut. 

Farewell to the Ox

 As the Year of the Ox is quickly coming to a close, I have found I have learned some valuable lessons this year. I always try to learn and benefit from opportunities, but this year was a bit different in a few ways. 

First, I attempted to grade for my Black Belt, but work still needs to be done. I learned so much on the journey, but in a different perspective than previous years. Getting your Black Belt I feel is a turning point in the journey of Mastery. This is the ultimate recognition for the work you have done, and the path we are on. I learned to appreciate my failures, and recognize them not as failures, but as opportunities. Tools, not hoops. I am grateful for the opportunities I was given, and will carry forward the knowledge gained in my journey as a martial artist. 

My personal life had several twists and turns. Mostly with my mom, and her dementia. We were told in April to prepare as she was not going to make it. Several weeks later it was decided to move her to long term care, as she was doing fairly well. She is still doing good, but is in end stage dementia. This can last for months or even years, and is difficult to watch. But I am so grateful for the time given to us. 

My job has certainly had some ups and downs as well. Covid has been tough of course, causing staff shortages, and constant pivoting; but there has been many other changes as well. Some good, some difficult to adjust to. 

I look forward to the Year of the Tiger, and all of the opportunities to come. 

I am here

 Wow, does the clock spin fast when you are not paying attention! It has been a struggle for several weeks now. Injury, extreme staff shortages at work, and the busy month of December all rolled into one. Still, no excuse.

It was a rude wake up call when I was used to such a rigid training schedule. To have it clawed back because of injury was tough. It took a lot of adjusting that I did not handle well. I still trained, but modified, and didn’t feel like I was doing everything I should. I’m very much looking forward to getting back into the routine I was enjoying, and feeling like I was progressing in. 

We are enjoying some sun, sand, and relax at the moment. The regular super speed of life will begin again next week. I need to be able to handle it better, and maybe some time away is what I needed. My biggest failure of late was my blogging, or the lack of. In not blogging I have missed opportunities that I won’t get back. I have my notes, and will review, but have still lost the in the moment benefit of those notes. I cannot go back, so time to move forward, and not repeat the same mistakes. 

Here’s to 2022, and hopefully some positive steps forward in this pandemic. Happy New Year all! 

Too Much Parenting?

 This is directly related to Kung Fu. I struggle with the difference of being a parent and being a teammate. To be more specific, I am a parent of a Kung Fu student. Even more specifically, I am a parent of a fellow teammate, in my class, at the same belt level. This can certainly be a struggle, a battle of wills, which one to be, at the right time. 

They say it takes a village to raise a child. We have been very fortunate to have our village be Silent River Kung Fu. From the age of just before 3 years old and fast forward 13 years. Hard to believe. We have also been very fortunate that our child has chosen his Kung Fu time and time again. When it came time to choose which extra curricular activity to stay in for time constraints, he chose Kung Fu. Always. (And a good thing, or ‘parenting’ would definately have come into play lol). I am not saying other sports are not important, but Kung Fu is not just a sport. It is a lifestyle. I cannot think of something better to give your child to lead a better life, and be a better human. You want your child  to be a good person, to be a viable, self sustaining adult. Kung Fu certainly helps to provide that, and more. And now, being a junior instructor, it is also providing the tools to him to be a leader. 

Parenting, and being a teammate at the same time can be a struggle. Where is the line? What is helping, what is holding him back? He may very soon surpass me, and earn his black belt. Will this be the difference to help this struggle? I will always be his parent, and always provide guidance, no matter what age. I will always try to be my best for him, with him, and help him to be his best. The subtle questions - is this completed? Is that done? will most likely continue, I am a parent after all. But a parent that also wants him to choose his own path, make his own decisions, and be successful with those choices. We never want our children to make mistakes but they also provide learning opportunities. Opportunities that may not come about without setbacks. It is a struggle to let those mistakes happen, and not to guide them in a different direction. 

I have been very fortunate to have my boys at my side through my Kung Fu journey, but it can very difficult to separate those journeys. It can be difficult to distinguish the individual journeys. I can only hope I have been a teammate at the right times, and backed off the parenting side of it, when that was needed as well. This is my journey, as well as his. Proud parent, proud teammate, and couldn’t be more proud of the young man we have all raised. I’m sure the struggle will continue as we navigate our journeys. I can only hope that enough has been provided for him to make the right decisions, the choices that will further his life in a positive way. 

One of those weeks…

 When it rains, it pours. I’ve had one of those weeks that felt like what could go wrong, did go wrong.

We’ve talked about this pandemic, and the mental health affects from it. This past week was one issue after another, and I wonder if the general mental health of some individuals is due to all the added stresses of life at the moment, and over the last couple of years. Not only was there several issues with clients, but I encountered a very agitated, abusive, and threatening individual as I woke him from sleeping in the vestibule at my branch, going into work one morning. I was able to enter the branch safely, but it was not a great situation. 

My training has also needed to be modified, as I am nursing a pulled muscle in my knee/calf area which is causing pain, and uncomfortable movement. It’s been a couple of weeks, and starting to feel better now that I have taken it easy for a bit, so hopefully I’ll be back to regular routine very soon. 

The good news is that the week is over. I look forward to starting a new week. Fresh start, and one of those weeks in the rear view mirror. 

Train to Sustain

These last couple of years, I have been working on sustainable training. This has been something very important to me, as this journey as a candidate will continue past black belt grading, and ultimately getting a black belt, into the rest of my life.

I feel as if my routine has come to a point of sustainability, and even though it is always a work in progress, I have found it works really well. Something in life will always throw a curveball. If that curveball ends up smacking me in the face, unavoidably, I feel as though I will be able to shake it off and get back to routine with relative ease. Now of course we don’t know what life will bring, but I also believe a solid foundation in a routine is essential to finding  your way back to it. 

As I continue my journey as a candidate next year, I will continue to reassess, reevaluate, and reform where needed. Kung Fu is not just a training routine, it is a part of every part of my life. Sustainable life. 

The day draws near

 As the date of our second preliminary fitness test draws nearer, I find myself feeling excitement, with some nervousness. I don’t feel as nervous as the first fitness test, but still the nerves are there. 

I feel good about my training, my trajectory, and I feel and see sustainability. That is what is truly important, I believe. The path I am on does not change because of one day. My journey is one of Mastery, there is no end date. Mastery is for always, for every day. Infinite.

I have been focusing on my breathing. Calm myself down. Just do my Kung Fu. This date on the calendar is important, it means a lot, but it is just a date. If I am not ready this year, then I will be grateful to be given another chance next year, or the year after that, or someday. My path does not change, my journey remains.